I was finally off of Theodore Rex.
Several months later, after my return from Antarctica, I got a panicked call from the production. They needed me to come in and see what had been done on the film and critique it. They wanted to know if I could find any ways they could improve (save) the movie. They offered to pay me a hundred bucks for a few hours of my time. I was curious, so I drove over to the West Side of L. A.
I don’t think they really wanted my true opinion, though, as after I looked at what they had done, I advised them to fire the head of their make-up department and promote the guy who I thought was easily their best sculptor to head the unit.
They really did not want to hear that.
Here are more Theodore Rex designs from my first go-round on the film:
To my amazement, Theodore Rex got made. Even more to my amazement, somehow, Whoopi Goldberg ended up being cast as the lead in the film. The producers threatened Whoopi with what became known as a Kim Basinger lawsuit, claiming that Whoopi had verbally agreed to star in the film (she was being sued by the producers for $20 million). I gave a five-hour deposition on Whoopi’s behalf, noting that the clowns who called themselves producers had but the barest of knowledge when it came to making movies.
After my deposition, I was shocked that Whoopi nevertheless agreed to make the movie.
Here’s what I was told happened:
They threatened the life of her daughter.
There are so many ways to get even in the Film Biz, however.
After a day of shooting, the director approached Whoopi.
“Whoopi — I’m not seeing any of the Whoopi comedy magic…”
“I see this as a straight role,” was Whoopi’s cool response. Then Whoopi got on the phone with New Line Cinema, the film’s production company.
“You bury this one and I’ll give you two more.”
I heard (I don’t know if this is true) that Theodore Rex ran for two days theatrically somewhere in Nebraska. IMDB says that the film had failed results in four test marketing cities.
That’s one way to get revenge in Hollywood. And that’s how Theodore Rex became the most expensive ($33.5 million) direct-to-video movie ever made. Whoopi has publicly stated that Theodore Rex is the only film in her career that she regrets making (me too, Whoopi!).
And so closes one of the more brutal chapters of my film career. Much more pleasant stuff (and a bit more unfortunate ugliness) to follow…